The First Time in Years

“I can’t do this,” I say to Violet over the phone. She grunts and says, “You’re already dressed up and ready to go so what the heck is stopping you from going now?”

I pace back and forth in my living room with my car and house keys in my hand. “I don’t know!” I say loudly.

“That’s up to you to decide, Naomi,” She says flatly with a sigh. “Violet out.” And with that, she hangs up and leaves me pacing back and forth in my living room. I glance at my watch and see that it’s 10 minutes to 7. Should I?

My phone vibrates in my hand. I look at it and see that it’s a text from Wren.

“You comin’?” It says. I bite my lower lip.

“I’m on my way.”

…

I arrive at the skating rink at five past seven. I scan the row of empty seats for Wren. I see him sitting on one of the seats, crouching. He looks up abruptly and sees me. He waves his hand and smiles warmly, making myself feel calmer than I was a while ago.

“Hey,” He says once I’m in earshot. I lift my hand briefly and sit next to him, crouching in the exact position he’s in. He glances at me and smiles.

“We’re going to be talking here?” I ask, my voice making echoes in the quiet skating rink. Wren looks around the skating rink and back to me, saying, “Nope.”

I turn to him and raise an eyebrow. “No?”

“Definitely not,” He says, turning to me with his golden hair covering his eyes. He flips it back and suddenly takes my hand in his, pulling me to stand up. He walks away, his hand still holding mine.

“Where are we going?” I ask. He glances back at me and says, “It’s a secret.”

…

We get into Wren’s car and he drives as soon as I buckle up. “Where are we going?” I ask again but he doesn’t answer me this time. He keeps his eyes on the road and his hands gripped onto the steering wheel. I decide to look out the window instead, to get hints of where we’re going.

“Naomi, I like you.” He says abruptly, repeating what he said 3 years ago back at the hill top. I decide to play along and gave him the same wide-eyed-face I’d given him back then. He realizes that I’m playing along. He laughs and says, “Don’t look at me that way.”

“What’s your point?” I feel like I’m reading a movie script. He glances at me for a second and puts on his thinking face, the same one he gave me years ago.

“I want to marry you, Naomi.” He says abruptly. I glance at him, raise an eyebrow and say, “Well too late for that, don’t you think?”

For a while, there was momentary silence between us and I suddenly regret saying what I’d said. I glance at him and his face looks dull; like something in him is broken.

“I’m sorry.” I say in a whisper. I can feel that he’s glancing at me. I look at him and see the corner of his lips curling gradually into a smile.

“You know what?” He asks, glancing at me. “We don’t have to get married. Let’s just talk.”

“Where?” I ask. He points outside my window and I look. We’re driving near the coast. I look back at him and grin. “Ooo… Smooth, Wren. Smooth.” He tilts his head back and laughs his ridiculously cute laugh.

He parks somewhere on the beach and we get out, staring at the starry sky. I walk near the sea and sit somewhere I can smell the sea’s salty smell. Wren sits next to me and I put my head on his shoulder.

“You didn’t tell us your new year resolution for 2011, Wren McCarty,” I say in a whisper. I grin and I look at Wren to see that he’s smiling, too. He sighs and fixes his gaze to the waves that just keep on coming.

“I had many new year resolutions for 2011, Naomi Turner.” He says. “Unfortunately, one of them didn’t come true.”

I sit up straight and put my hand between us. “And what is that?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he rests his hand on mine, staring blankly into the starry night sky. I decide to do the same. He suddenly lies down on the sand, his feet facing the waves. I lie down next to him, my hands pillowing my head. We lie down next to each other, quietly.

“If a star fell for every time I thought of you,” Wren says abruptly. “The sky would be empty.”

“That’s so cheesy.” I say with a laugh. Wren laughs together with me. I ask, “How much do you love me?”

“Count the number of stars in the sky. That’s how much I love you.”

“Wouldn’t the sky be empty by then?”

Wren laughs and I laugh together with him. “You just had to ruin the moment,” He says in between his laughter.

After that, we’re silent yet again. But it wasn’t awkward silence. More of okay, this is the perfect time to be silent silence.  

“Do you love Luke?” Wren asks me abruptly. I ask myself the same question. Do I? Have I ever loved him? Was he just the guy I dated to make myself forget all about Wren?

“Do you love Imogen?” I ask instead. He’s quiet and I yet again, regret asking that question.

He doesn’t answer for the rest of the night, and I accept that. We drown in our own thoughts, our hands intertwined still, listening to the sound of the waves.

…

“Alright people let’s get skating!” I say to my students. Skylar comes up to me and says, “Miss Turner? Where’s Mr McCarty?”

I stand in front of her quietly, not knowing what to say. Audrey comes skating towards me and says, “Yeah. Where is he?” Apparently she too had heard Skylar’s question.

Wren hadn’t come for skating lessons since the day we went to the beach together which was like, 3 weeks ago. I hadn’t seen him outside of classes, too. Skylar’s question worried me. I crouched down, stroked her hair and answered, “I don’t know, love. He’s probably home sick.”

“For 3 weeks?” Audrey mentions. I shot her a look and she goes skating away.

“When will he be back?” Skylar asks me. I look into her blue piercing eyes and answer, “I don’t know.”

After class, the first thing I did was call Imogen. She has to know about Wren’s whereabouts. I dial her number and press call. She answers straight away.

“Naomi? Oh thank god. Have you seen Wren?”

I’m taken aback when she asks me this. “N-No, Imogen. I haven’t. In fact, that’s why I called you. Wren’s supposed to be helping me out with skating class but he hasn’t been attending them for 3 weeks.”

“Oh jeez. That’s how long he’s been missing!”

“Missing?”

“His mom called me last week, saying that Wren didn’t come home after going out one night.” My blood runs cold when she says this. I bite my fingernail.

“What can I do to help?” I ask, my voice quavering. Imogen tells me that I can go to Wren’s house and check if he’d left anything that could be a clue about his whereabouts.

“…Thanks, Naomi.” And with that, she hangs up. I put the phone into the pocket of my jeans and stand there in the skating rink, feeling empty.

Where could he be?

To be continued in: Clues.